I hope that when you look at me, you think of words like... confused... disheveled... out-of-style... not well-spoken... lonely... tired... struggling... indecisive... selfish... annoying... inconsistent... forgetful... unmotivated...
Because all of those words can describe some aspect of my life. (And no, I am not on, or do not need, any prescription medications.) I'm not feeling sorry for myself, at all. I'm basically a happy person right now. I'm probably more at peace with my life, and with who I am, than I have been at any other time. CONTENT truly describes me at this stage of my life. But I hope that no one looks at me, and sees a facade. I want to be more transparent than that. Next time you ask me how I'm doing, I'm not going to reply with "good" if it's not the truth. I'm not going to smile when I feel like crying. I do have problems that I'm not sure how to solve, I do lose my temper, I do lose things never to find them again, I do try on three outfits and then say that I have nothing to wear, I do say things that I regret. I do not live a fairy tale life, and I hope that no one would ever think that I do. I live in the real world, surrounded by the same issues, temptations, and lies as the next person. (And...as an added plus, I'm surrounded by children all day long!!!)
I've seen too many "fairy-tale" lives fall apart recently. I've seen too many people lately who seem to "have it all" lose it in an instant. I don't want to be one of those people. I'll share my trash with you, and I want you to share yours with me. I want to have REAL friends, who'll tell me if something is stuck in my teeth, or if my butt looks big in those jeans, or if I'm being utterly and ridiculously wrong about something. And I'd like to be that same kind of friend to you. I'm through striving for perfection. It only wears me down. So here I am, flaws and all, (do you hear the sigh of relief?) and I'm loving it!!!
My friend needs your prayers. This week, my friend's "fairy-tale" life was turned upside down in one day, probably in one conversation. ("Fairy-tale" being my own perception, not my friend's description.) My heart is broken for my friend. I can't go to sleep for thinking about my friend. So, if I've misspelled words, or typed a sentence that makes no sense, go ahead and laugh at me. I won't get my feelings hurt. And, tomorrow, when I have bags under my eyes, and can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing, don't feel sorry for me, just say a prayer for my friend. My contented life, with all its flaws, will continue as usual. My friend, however, has to figure out how to put a life back together again.
Keeping it real, one day at a time...
Love, Amy
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4 comments:
Wow... thanks for being so honest...
That is really impressive that you can be so open about yourself...
I admire that & it is something to me to strive for too.
It may not be a "fairy-tale", but at least you have a prince. :-) I definitely understand keeping it real.
Like Casey said, thanks for your honesty! My hearts desire, too, is to be that kind of friend.
Our closest friends (a couple) in Valdosta had the "fairy-tale life" in our eyes. Shortly after we moved to Albany we lost touch and weren't sure why we hadn't heard from them. Come to find out she was having an affair and he was crushed beyond belief! My heart was so broken. It was a very strange feeling. Anyway, all that to say, the pieces will take a while to put back together, but they can be, eventually. This couple has restored their marriage and have 2 beautiful sons!
Thanks for sharing, Jamie! That is my prayer for my friend, as well. I believe that only God can heal a heart that is hurting like that!
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